Why pushing harder isn’t the best answer

Wherever the outcome starts to matter more than the process, balance has been lost.

And it’s so easy to fall into this pattern in our riding.

We put in the hours. We do the work. We prepare as best we can. And then, almost without noticing, we start expecting the outcome we want.

Every little thing that happens that isn’t exactly aligned with how we think it’s supposed to roll out is taken as a sign — and usually a bad one.

That’s when the pushing and pulling begins.

The result becomes the dominating internal conversation:

• I have to get this QR.

• I can’t let this horse down.

• This season is make or break for me.

• I can’t disappoint my coach.

• This is my last chance (to achieve this particular thing)

When the outcome becomes the focal point, balance slips quietly away.

Balance is lost long before the results prove it.

It’s lost when the rider stops listening and starts forcing. When adaptability and acceptance give way to rigidity and fixation. When curiosity is replaced by control.

From the outside, it can look like commitment. From the inside, it feels like survival.

And here’s the paradox:

The more you chase the outcome, the less accessible it becomes.

Balance is not passive. It’s an active skill.

It requires a high level of awareness of your internal state, a willingness to adjust in the moment, and trust in the preparation you’ve done.

As a performance coach with many years of experience working in high-pressure environments, my role as your mental skills coach is to help you recognise and name when balance has been lost in your training. To support you as you practise the skills that allow you to return to centre, ground yourself, and reconnect with your plan.

A question to sit with:

Where in your riding are you trying harder — when what you really need is better balance?

If this resonates, let me support you:

1:1 mental skills coaching: https://forgingahead.co.za/schedule-an-appointment

Academy membership: https://forgingahead.co.za/academy

Free 7-day challenge: https://forgingahead.co.za/facingdownfear