There’s a space in all of our lives that few people talk about, but many of us quietly endure. It’s the in-between place—where the old life has fallen away, and the new one hasn’t fully arrived yet. It’s disorienting, tender, and deeply human.

I call it the messy middle.

Right now, I find myself standing squarely in that liminal space. It’s exactly one month since my mother passed away, and one month to the day until my birthday. It feels like I’m walking a bridge between two identities: the one that was shaped by grief and endings… and the one I’m slowly beginning to author, moment by moment.

And I want to speak today not from the polished place of “after,” but from the raw and real ground of during. Because maybe you’re here too.

The Grief of Letting Go—and the Grace in It

This middle space is often heavy with grief. Not just from the loss of loved ones, but from the shedding of roles, routines, and stories that no longer fit. It’s natural to want to rush through this part—to tidy it up, find answers, or move on.

But what if this messy middle isn’t something to rush? What if it’s the most honest part of our journey?

Grief, after all, isn’t just sorrow—it’s evidence of deep love. When we allow ourselves to feel it, not just survive it, we’re metabolising loss into meaning. We’re creating room for something new to take root.

Authoring Your Own Becoming

In times of transition, there’s a quiet but powerful opportunity: the chance to reclaim authorship of your life.

This might look like small acts—clearing out a drawer, saying no to things that once felt obligatory, or finally allowing yourself to rest without guilt. Or it might be more radical—rethinking how you want to be in the world, how you want to love, and what kind of life you want to wake up to.

The messy middle is where we start asking better questions—not out of crisis, but out of courage.

Who am I now?
What am I no longer willing to tolerate?
What if I let go of the “shoulds” and wrote new rules instead?

Making Peace With Discomfort

This part of the journey rarely feels graceful. One day might be full of energy and clarity, the next one clouded in fatigue or uncertainty. That’s normal. Healing and growth don’t happen in straight lines.

It’s okay if you’re angry, or sad, or wildly hopeful—and sometimes all three within the span of a morning. These emotions are not signs that you’re doing it wrong. They’re signs that you’re in it.

You’re not stuck. You’re stirring.

The Power of Conscious Choices

Sometimes in this space, we make new choices—not out of pressure, but from alignment. For me, choosing sobriety has become about more than health. It’s about presence. It’s about meeting life, unfiltered and undiluted. And yes, it can unsettle people. But that discomfort belongs to them, not to you.

Each clear choice you make in the messy middle is a step toward your future self.

You Are Becoming

If you are reading this while navigating your own transformation project, I want you to know:

You are not lost.
You are in transition.
You are not failing.
You are becoming.

This space between who you were and who you are becoming is sacred. It may feel messy, but it is never meaningless.

Hold the line.
Trust your timing.
And let the middle be as holy as the breakthrough that follows.

With you, in the becoming.
Linda x