I have spent years helping riders manage their minds. But when I lost my horse, I didn't know how to manage mine.

There are experiences in life that you can explain to someone, and there are experiences that can only really be understood by someone who has lived them.

Losing Jazz was one of those experiences for me.

She wasn't just a horse I rode. She was my partner. My companion. The horse who had taken me on a journey I hadn't imagined possible when I first started riding again after 15 years away.

Together, we'd gone from novice dressage to eventing. We'd tackled challenges, overcome nerves, celebrated successes and built a partnership that meant more to me than I can adequately put into words.

And then she became ill, and I had to make the decision to put her to sleep.

It was the hardest part of my entire riding journey.

I was lost in grief.

I knew the language of mental skills. I understood the importance of resilience, perspective, self-compassion and asking for help.

But knowing those things didn't make losing her hurt any less.

And knowing how to help other people didn't mean I automatically knew how to help myself.

Some time later, I travelled back to my favourite farm in the Southern Cape, near George, for a Forging Ahead Pink Couch experience.

I'd been there before with Jazz.

This time, I arrived without her.

And I absolutely fell apart.

I remember sobbing with a depth of grief that is almost impossible to describe. The kind of grief that catches you somewhere deep inside, where words don't seem to reach.

It wasn't simply that I missed riding her.

I missed her.

I missed what we'd shared. I missed the horse who had been part of so much of my life. And I was confronted with the reality that this chapter of my riding life was over.

I realised that I was at an all-time low, both in my riding and in my life.

And I knew I needed help to find my way through the pain.

Not another motivational quote. Not someone telling me to be grateful for the good memories. Not pressure to move on or find another horse.

I needed to understand grief. I needed to make room for it. And I needed to connect with people who understood what it meant to lose a horse who had been your soulmate.

So I started putting together a series of talks about grief and grieving.

Those talks are now part of the Forging Ahead Academy.

And something else happened along the way.

I reached out to other riders who had lost their special horses. We shared our experiences. We talked about the things other people didn't always understand. Some of us are still in regular contact today.

That connection has meant a great deal to me.

Because one of the loneliest parts of losing a horse can be feeling that the rest of the world expects you to carry on as normal.

You might hear that it was only a horse. That you can get another one. That you were lucky to have had the time you had.

And perhaps people mean well.

But they don't understand that you haven't simply lost an animal. You've lost a relationship, a routine, a partner and sometimes a huge part of your identity.

Your riding might feel pointless for a while. Your motivation might disappear. You might feel guilty about enjoying another horse, or frightened of becoming attached again.

And you might not know who to talk to.

I don't have a magic formula for grief. I don't believe there is a timetable for it, either.

But I do believe we need somewhere to turn when life becomes difficult. Somewhere we can learn, reflect, find practical tools and feel less alone.

That belief has shaped the Academy I'm building.

Yes, there are courses to help you develop focus, confidence and performance skills.

Back to Basics looks at the connection between body, mind and soul.

Foundations of Focus helps you develop the nine essential mental skills that support performance.

Happy Horse Shows explores personality through the Enneagram, helping you understand yourself and your horse a little better.

But there is also room for the parts of life that don't fit neatly into a performance plan.

There are talks on grief and grieving. There are monthly Toolbox Talks where we can explore the challenges riders are facing. And there is a growing library of material that you can return to whenever you need it.

Sometimes you'll want to work through an entire course.

Sometimes you'll only have the energy to watch one video.

Sometimes you'll need to reach out to me personally and talk about what you're facing. Academy members also have access to discounted one-to-one coaching when they need more individual support.

And sometimes, the most important thing is simply knowing that you don't have to pretend you're fine.

The Forging Ahead Academy is about more than becoming a better competitor. It's about supporting the person who turns up to ride, whatever life has brought them.

If you're struggling with the loss of a special horse, navigating a difficult season, feeling disconnected from your riding or simply trying to make sense of things, I hope you'll find something here that helps.

You don't have to wait until you're falling apart to ask for support.

And you don't have to have everything figured out before you join.

I've been in that place where I didn't know what came next.

I know what it is to need help.

And I want to create a place where riders can find the tools, the understanding and the connection they need, when they need them.

If that sounds like something you need in your life, I'd love you to join me.

Come and be part of the Forging Ahead Academy. There's room for the whole of your story here.

https://forgingahead.co.za/academy

Linda
Forging Ahead Mental Skills Coaching